Lipstick Diaries Part 2 Read online

  Rome’s eyes went dark as though he knew what I’d just stopped short of saying.

  “Baby…” I began, but stopped when I saw Rome bending over to pick up the pills off the floor.

  My heart began racing because I knew his next move would be to toss them out or worse, flush them down the toilet.

  “Rome?” When he didn’t answer, I rushed over to his side and pulled him up to meet my gaze.

  “Baby, I’m sorry. Please believe me. I would never do anything to hurt our family. I just made a stupid mistake, that’s all.”

  Rome remained quiet but he was at least listening. I let my head fall to my chest to allow myself a chance to see how many pills were left on the floor. I counted twelve on the floor and unless some rolled under the bed or furniture, Rome had 6 in his hand. Deep down I knew that my priorities were fucked up but my first concern was making sure that the $540 worth of pills did not go to waste. I needed to take Rome’s mind off the issue at hand and focus on something more worthwhile, me.

  I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned up to kiss his lips, but he remained stiff as a board. I let my lips linger on his for a moment before moving to his neck. Knowing this would do the trick, I traced his collarbone with my tongue while my breath warmed his neck. I pulled him closer and reached for his zipper.

  His breath caught in his throat as my tongue traveled to his earlobe and I began to nibble. I felt his body relax and I smiled to myself. With his dick in my hand, I began to slowly massage him until I felt the tip getting wet.

  “Do you forgive me?” I whispered throatily in his ear.

  He grunted as I continued to massage his rock hard dick.

  “Rome, do you forgive me, sweetheart?”

  My other hand was tugging the button of his pants free and I reached in to cup his entire package. He answered by shoving his tongue generously down my throat. I sucked his bottom lip.

  “Do you want to fuck my mouth?” I brazenly asked.

  He groaned, nodding his head and moaned. I dropped to my knees and swallowed his extended dick. At this junction in time, I would normally play with my pussy in preparation of being fucked, but as much as I should’ve been enjoying the moment, I really wasn’t.

  Rome’s long thick dick was grinding against my tongue. I began to feel the familiar longing as my mind worked a mile a minute to figure out a way to get just one of the pills next to me on the floor. His knees buckled a little as I performed like my life depended on it. And in a way, it did. As much as I loved my life with Rome, I loved Oxycontin, Percocet and Vicodin, my candy, much more. I knew for certain what would make me feel much better than even his hard dick would be my candy.

  Addiction has a weird way of making you feel like all of the stupid shit you do just to get high, was perfectly normal. I had to focus on the task at hand which was taking Rome’s mind off of my relationship with my candy.

  Quickly I replaced my mouth with my hand and stroked Rome’s dick while looking up at his expression my sucking had induced. I was in control.

  “I want you to fuck my mouth good with your hard dick, for real. Fuck it like you miss it,” I ordered.

  He grunted as he forced the tip of his dick back in my mouth and grabbed two handfuls of my shoulder-length weave. A smile crossed my lips as I felt the pills he’d held in his hand fall around me. I stroked his balls with one hand and reached down to scoop up two pills without disturbing his pleasure-filled flow.

  My heart raced and my wetness dripped down my thighs in anticipation of what was to come. Without breaking stride, I slid the candy on my tongue and allowed it to slide down my throat. With my mission accomplished, I jumped up and pushed Rome down on the bed to finish him off.

  “I’m sorry baby.” I sat on the tip of his dick and squeezed my walls as I slowly took him in inch by inch. “Do you forgive me?”

  Grabbing both my ass cheeks, Rome began bucking up while vigorously nodding his head. It was my game now and I was already ahead. I threw my head back from the intense pleasure. He was hitting my spot and the candy I swallowed already was in effect. My body began to grow warm and I felt goose bumps all over. My body turned to jelly and Rome body shuddered as a climatic orgasm swept through me and my lover simultaneously like a hurricane coming inland. We screamed out in unison at the pleasure our grinding brought.

  I lay still, sweaty and high as a kite. My pussy still leaking and my head resting comfortably on Rome’s broad chest, I listened to him softly snoring. Closing my eyes, I waited for the implosion of euphoria to envelope me. An unavoidable smile of victory spread across my face when the familiar wave of feel-good washed over my body. My nipples hardened and my pussy got wet all over again. The best part of my candy was it made me feel all was right in my world.

  The hair on my arms stood and goose bumps covered me. The feeling was orgasmic and I felt as though I could walk on air. I knew it would take a little longer to get the full effect of my high because of the time-release element of Oxycontin. If not for Rome’s dick being in my mouth at the time, I would’ve chewed the pill and gotten an immediate rush. But since he wouldn’t have taken too kindly to me gnawing on his dick, I had to take my candy however I could get it. When I felt sad, I took my candy. When I felt happy, I took candy. Sure ‘nuff, when I felt anything other than high, I took my candy.

  Rome stirred a little in his sleep and it shook me out of my reverie. I sat up and quietly slid off the bed, taking care not to disturb Rome. The last thing I wanted was for him to wake up and remember what brought on the argument in the first place. Even though I knew what I was doing was all wrong, I got down on all fours and began crawling around, gathering up the pills scattered about the room.

  Volunteering to help care for Rome’s sick grandmother was one way to ensure that I had access to her cancer medication. The scheme was entirely scandalous, but there was no way she would miss it. Besides, it was better than me having to spend money for bills, or worse, sell ass. I admit there were times when I really wanted to quit. Mainly when I ran out of candy and began going through withdrawal.

  There are those who say that Oxycontin was hillbilly heroin. I wouldn’t disagree. As good as it made me feel when I was high, it was ten times worse when I wasn’t. That shit was no joke.

  Picture Diana Ross in Mahogany, complete with the shakes, sweating up a storm, vomiting and having the runs. That was me. I had tried many times to quit but just like any other drug, it kept calling my name. And I kept going back.

  I got on my hands and knees, gathering and counting fourteen pieces of candy. Then I sat at the foot of the bed trying to remember how many I had counted before. Just then another wave of euphoria cruised through my veins. Frozen in the enjoyment of my high, I smiled. Rome was asleep less than five feet away from me, and not wanting that feeling to end anytime soon, I quickly chewed another sixty milligrams of my favorite candy. With my flexible tongue, I tried my best to get all residue stuck between my teeth without drinking water. I frowned hard because the taste was unpleasant and my tongue became numb.

  I heard Rome shifting on the bed and jumped to my feet. I had to catch my balance because my legs were like jelly. My eyes swept the floor one last time for any remaining pills. There was no more. With an unsteady gait, I made my way to the bathroom in search of a good hiding place for my candy. I spotted my box of tampons under the sink and knew it was perfect because Rome would never go digging around in there.

  Tearing the plastic wrapper on the tampon, I dropped the pills inside the hollow end of the applicator. When I was satisfied that they were secure, I put everything back in its place before returning to the bedroom. All I needed was an excuse to give Rome when he awoke to find the pills were no longer on the floor. The pill bottle was still lying in the corner of the room where it landed after bouncing off of my head. I took it to the bathroom, threw it in the wastebasket and flushed the toilet thrice. The noise awoke Rome. He was staring up at me when I entered the room.

  “What are you
doing?” He asked with a hint of suspicion.

  “Just taking care of the problem, baby,” I smiled reassuringly.

  Taking care to say the words slower than normal, I did not want to alarm him with my thick tongue and sing-song voice that always accompanied my high.

  “Huh?” he grunted.

  “I’m truly sorry, Rome. And I want you to know that you’ll never have to worry about my can-, I mean those pills again. And to prove it, I flushed them all down the toilet, baby.”

  Rome sat up, moved to the edge of bed and looked on the floor and around the room. For a moment, doubt crept into his eyes. Then he said, “Flushed them…? For all I know, you went in there and hid them,” he said scrutinizing me.

  My eyes widened and I shuffled my feet while trying to think of a plausible comeback.

  “Rome?” I said walking over to the bed. “Baby, I told you that you wouldn’t have to worry about this anymore. I understand why you’re mad and I’m so sorry. I don’t want to lose you or our family. That’s why I got rid of them. Nothing is worth me losing you, or what we have built together,” I said with as much sincerity as I could muster, even managing to squeeze out a few tears.

  He looked as though he was struggling with the bullshit I just fed him but I knew I’d won him over when his shoulders slumped and he nodded his head.

  “Okay, that’s the right thing to do.”

  I smiled and leaned in for a kiss but was stopped short by Rome’s hand in my face.

  “Don’t think this is over because we still have a lot to talk about, Candy. I can’t have you thinking that you bringing this shit in my house is all cool and shit. Sucking my dick won’t make me forget, and neither will you dropping a few crocodile tears.”

  I nearly choked. Was I really that obvious? My high was slowly dying. I knew the longer I stood there, the harder it would be to not respond and my high would die a horrible death. Suddenly an urge overtook me, and my mind drifted to the tampon box. I wasn’t sure if going back so soon after flushing the contraband was such a good idea. I decided to tell Rome whatever he wanted to hear to cut the conversation short.

  I sat on the bed and looked him in the eye. “Babe, I know you probably don’t understand what I am going through but, I only took those pills because they’re the only thing that takes away the pain I have in my neck.”

  “What pain?” The expression on his face showed nothing but disdain. “You haven’t mentioned anything to me about being in no damn pain. In fact, you go to the gym damn-near everyday with no complaints. And now all of a sudden you’re in enough pain for you to start taking 60 milligrams of Oxycontin? That’s some shit they give to cancer patients.”

  Stopping short, he gave me a hard sidelong glare. I wonder if he could hear my heart racing. Fear replaced my already diminished high. I just knew Rome was connecting the dots in his head and I braced myself for another one of his attacks. Rome shook his head as if he was erasing any thoughts of me stooping so low as to steal from his cancer-stricken grandmother.

  “We went through this shit before Candy,” he continued, “and I told you then that I wasn’t going to tolerate no junkie.”

  I flinched at the word ‘junkie’, and wanted to defend myself, but couldn’t. It was true. A year earlier, I was in a car accident that caused a serious neck injury. I was prescribed Vicodin and Percocet while going through therapy. Truth be told, my injury was minor and I could’ve managed the pain with Ibuprofin. I started taking the pills as prescribed but it didn’t take long for me to discover why people abused them. When I realized how Percocet took, not only my physical pain away, but my emotional and mental pain as well, I was hooked. I began calling it my candy because it made me as happy and giddy as a child with real candy.

  When my therapy ended, so did my prescriptions, and that’s when my trouble began. Rome started noticing money that was missing from our accounts and I was soon introduced to Oxycontin by a friend. I lost 30 pounds because one of the major effects it had on me was loss of appetite and vomiting. I began to have wild mood swings where one minute I was loving and affectionate and the next I was violently crying from withdrawal.

  The final straw came when I used the money for the mortgage to buy an entire prescription from a coworker. I’d planned on paying the bill before Rome got wind of it. But as luck would have it, he intercepted the mail and saw the late notice.

  Rome stayed away for a few days and was prepared to leave for good unless I agreed to go to an out-patient treatment facility. I stayed clean and away from all prescription medication until recently. I’d been given the task of looking after Rome’s sick grand-mother two evenings a week.

  “So now you don’t have nothing to say,” Rome said in a raised voice. “Oh no, not Miss I-always-have-to-have-the-last-word!”

  I sat there in silence trying to find the right things to say and make everything better. To my relief, the door bell rang loudly, startling us both. Rome and I both sighed deeply, but for very different reasons. He looked as though he wanted to finish tearing me a new asshole and I, needed a much deserved break from his berating.

  “That must be my sister with Kenya,” he said, rising from his seat on the bed.

  Even though I was thankful for the interruption, I didn’t want to leave our discussion on an angry note. “Babe,” I said, standing to block his hasty exit, “I don’t want to argue with you anymore,” I pleaded, “You’re right, plain and simple. I promise we can talk about this later and clear the air. I was wrong again, and I have to live with that. But let’s not let this ruin the rest of our day. Please,” I begged with a meek expression.

  “I have to get the door,” he answered gruffly without meeting my gaze.

  Rome pushed past me and headed toward the front door. I stood there for a moment trying to digest what I’d done. Hearing the patter of Kenya running toward the stairs suddenly made me conscious of my appearance. I hurried to the bathroom to fix myself.

  Between the crying and Rome pulling my hair, I looked a hot ass mess. I pulled a brush through my hair and patted my face with a damp washcloth before returning to greet my baby.

  “Mommy!” Kenya squealed, running to me.

  “Hi, baby girl,” I said, giving her a kiss on the forehead. “Did you have fun with Auntie?”

  “Yes mommy. I missed you.” She smiled the cutest smile and wrapped her short arms around my neck.

  “Come on, let’s go say thank you to your auntie.” I put her down and patted her head. “Go back downstairs and tell Daddy and Auntie that I will be right there. I have to use the bathroom, okay?”

  Kenya nodded her head and skipped out of the room. I waited until I heard her relay my message in her squeaky voice, and hurried straight to the bathroom.

  Guilt tugged at my heart as I reached into the tampon box to retrieve my relief. Though I was in no real physical pain, I needed my candy to ease the emotional pain. I shook one pill out and did a quick mental count of how many I’d already taken. Three pills were too many, but my cravings were becoming more intense and happening far too frequently.

  I had to do something about my addiction but I wasn’t sure what to do or even if I really wanted to stop. Sure it was wrong but at the same time, it made me feel so good, I thought popping the lone pill into my mouth. Quickly, I chewed it up, while promising myself that as soon as I finished the ones I had left, I would make moves to quit for good. I rinsed my mouth and I had to steady myself from falling as my heart beat a mile a minute. A wave of dizziness nearly knocked me over. It never occurred to me that I had overdone it by taking so many in such a short period of time.

  The problem with addiction, all rationale goes out the window. Even through my dizziness and heart palpitations, all I could think about was the next high. The rest of the afternoon went by in a blur. Rome left soon after we said our goodbyes to his sister and still didn’t return for dinner.

  I played with Kenya, my mind kept returning to the tampon box in the bathroom. Between my worrying
about Rome not returning home and Kenya running me ragged, I couldn’t enjoy the high I craved. I contemplated taking just one more but decided against it because I needed them to last as long as possible and I wasn’t totally sure Rome wasn’t hip to me getting them from his grandmother. That meant I couldn’t be sure the next time I would be invited to care for her. Anxiety began to set in as I thought about not having access to my candy anymore.

  “Mommy…?”

  I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind and focused my attention back to Kenya.

  “Yes Baby?”

  “You wanna play Bratz with me?”

  I checked my watch and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw it was her bedtime.

  “Not tonight sweetie. It’s bedtime.”

  “Aw man,” she said, poking out her bottom lip.

  I smiled at her imitating Swiper The Fox, a character from her favorite show Dora The Explorer.

  “Come on silly girl. I’ll tell you what, how about you sleep with mommy until daddy comes back home?”

  “Yeah!”

  After bathing Kenya and putting on her pajamas, I laid her on my bed and promptly stretched out next to her. I kissed her goodnight and tucked her in. As usual, Kenya fought going to sleep and played around in the bed. Though I would normally make her stop and go to sleep, I was too tired to fuss at her. I closed my eyes and waited for Kenya to quiet down.

  “Mommy, I baked a cake. Do you want some of my cake?”

  I turned to face her and was met by her outstretched hands offering me her pretend cake. I took the imaginary piece of cake, put my hand to my mouth and chewed air.

  “Hmm, thank you baby. That was the best cake ever Kenya. Now go to sleep for mommy.”

  Kenya giggled. I turned comfortably on my back and closed my eyes, praying for her to go to sleep.

  Kenya quietly shuffled around for several more minutes before finally whispering loudly, “Mommy? Do you want some of my candy?”